By: Kemp Sabourin
There she was. I had been spotting her here everyday for weeks now and it was almost as if it was a routine of ours to meet here. Even though she did not know I existed it didn’t matter, just knowing she was so close brought me such joy. I casually sipped on my beer and let the frustrations of the workload coarse from my body as I began to reminisce on the days activities. Nothing was going as planned. You know, they tell you to plot it all out in your head and as long as you work hard and are an honest person that you will achieve your goals. That is such a load of…well not that it matters anyways. Soon I would be leaving that hell hole and move on with my life. I just needed a little push, that little bit of motivation.
The way her hips swayed as she walked hypnotized me and I could not help but glare at her amazing figure. What was I to say or do to catch her attention though? She had everyone eating from the palm of her hands. I had sent her a few drinks here and there and she always thanked me and gave me a hug. That was not enough though I needed more. I just needed to feel wanted, appreciated, just for a little while in my life. Tonight needed to be the night she came home with me. I would do whatever it took to get her into my car tonight, just as long as I got to wake up next to her. Even if I never saw her again, at least then I would feel like I got something accomplished for once.
I approached her and the circle of people groveling around her. There was that awkward silence as everyone stopped talking and looked up to me, waiting to see what was so important. I hated the spot light cause now I had to say something worth while or I would look stupid. Not like that was not in the norm for me but still, for once, let something go my way. I tried passing it off in a joking manner and joining the crowd but they did their best to let me know that my presence was not welcome. Joking about things that I knew nothing about. Inside stories, had to be there and all that jazz. I got the hint after a few minutes and headed back to my little corner. I ordered quite a number of drinks and honestly don’t remember drinking them. Next thing I knew I looked down and they were gone. What could one more hurt, I guess.
I had more than one, it always works that way and I should of known better. I let out a sigh as I tried to stumble my way outside and the whole environment laughed at me and my attempts. Such arrogance and mockery for a bunch of low life people. No sense of shame. It mattered little as the door finally flew open and I fell on my face in the gravel. No pain though, it was soothing the cool breeze and the perfectly lit mid-night sky. I let it flow through me for a while before I barely managed to stand on my own two feet again. My car was so far away and I felt the need to sit so badly. Quite the predicament I was in. That’s what I get for getting my hopes up though. I should of known better than to think she actually would want me. How foolish of me. I won’t be making that mistake twice.
I stared at the sky while walking forward, it was beautiful. Just like her. The way the stars shun reminded me of her eyes. I let one last smile at her expense cross my lips before I lost my balance and stumbled a few good yards and almost fell over. I steadied my equilibrium one last time and let my heavy head look forward again just in time to see the lights, that glow. Two strong illuminating lights came roaring towards me. They were just the same glow that was the stars. Was everything so beautiful so deadly and cruel? The only answered I got to my life’s mystery was the pain of the metal vehicle plowing me over just before it all went dark. My last thoughts were off the beauty absent in the world. Then again maybe I was just looking in the wrong place. There I lay on the ground slowly bleeding out and all I wanted was still to just be laying next to her. I saw her figure exit the bar, maybe I would actually get my wish tonight after all.